|Posted: Post subject: Anyone ever hurt someone without meaning to?
| I did. Not sure how it got so out of my control. Guess I wasn't as ready as I thought. I foolishly thought we were friends & were taking things slow, so I continued to talk to other people too. I ended up hurting the one guy I really didn't want to hurt.
Now, I'm filled with self disgust & guilt. I do that a lot. I just assume I deserve all the bad reactions I get. The silent treatments, distrust, yelling, so on. It takes me a really long time to start thinking good about myself again. I apologize for everything. Whether or not it's my fault. This time I know it was my fault. I should have been clearer, handled things better. I didn't mean to hurt him, & now I live with the knowledge that I might have done harm that can not be undone. To be honest, I was actually close to bringing harm to myself. I hate when I get like that. So damn insecure & self hating that it doesn't matter what is said or done.......... I will live with this guilt & hate for a long time now.....
I guess I just wonder if anyone else has this kind of self hatred....