Future pressure of sex--HELP

[taradt1 (deleted)]

Hello all, I'm new here and have a man emailing me. (I never thought anyone would) Anyway, I'll be direct and to the point with my questions. With the disability I have, S-- is not an option because it would cause my joints to go out of place. So how and when do I tell this guy? I havent dated in over 13 years because of it and I also do not believe in S-- before marriage. (He's prolly gonna read this and not want to talk to me anymore) Oh well. I'm scared of men to begin with ( because of incest when i was a small child..never got over it really..and yes ive talked to Dr.s), and I figured if I could find someone patient and understanding enough it would be ok...I want to start dating and possibly get married, but is it possible to do that in this day and age with a medical celibacy and finding a guy who would understand that? Sorry this is so long but need help and answers from the "Pros"...Thanks in advance. : :oops:

[feedback]

Welcome to the site! Since you have added Celibate into your profile keywords, you shouldn't be too concerned that you will be shocking the man emailing you. If he is interested in developing a friendship, it is safe to assume he has read your profile, and knows that you are seeking a non-sexual relationship.

If he makes any comments that indicate that he does not understand what you are looking for, just let him know. No big deal. Everyone is different, and if the two of you are looking for different things, then maybe it's not a match. Again, no big deal. As corny as it is, honesty is the best policy!

Also, you might be interested in adding Celibate Passions into your account, because you wouldn't have to worry about anyone misunderstanding that issue there.

Just click the Account Management link, and then the Add/Edit Sites link, and scroll down to Join Celibate Passions. It will add that site into your account, and you can set up a separate profile there as well as the one here. Just another option to consider. :)

[wodehousefan2 (deleted)]

taradt1...there is sex, and then there is s--. If you can't manage intercourse, could you ? ? If you were willing there would probably be something you could manage. You seem unwilling. Put the past behind you, and realize that not every guy you meet is an abuser. If you meet one who you feel something for, be imaginative, and try to find a way. Some guys could settle for a celibate, platonic friendship, and some couldn't. Look long enough, and you will find what you really seek.

s----l comments are not allowed within the forums...so we snipped the other things that were listed that could be done, aside from intercourse. Our guess is that everyone here can figure out what was mentioned...without having it spelled out for them.

[deloris9]

`HI
TARADT,WELL ITS ALL UP TO U,I THINK THAT YOUR ARE NOT REALLY READY YET. (I ALSO WAS PHYSCIALLY AND EMOTIONALLY).I ALSO WAS SCARED FROM THE TRAMA OF BEING ABUSE, BUT S-- START WITH YOUR MIND,CONQUER YOUR FEAR OF THE PAST ABUSE ..WILL HELP YOU TO ENJOY s--. AND IM NOT SURE EXACTLY YOUR CONDITION ABOUT S-- OR PRESSURE OF FORCE,WEIGHT,MAYBE..DIFERENT S-- POSITION OR ORAL SEX,MAY BE IF HE IS PATINCE,GENTLE AND UNSTANDING. YOU ALSO CAN HAVE PHONE SEX,TOYS ,TOUCH AND FEELING EACH OTHERS BODY. TELL THE MAN ABOUT YOU FEARS AND YOUR CONDITION JUST TRY NEW SUFF.

[nick8472 (deleted)]

I would recommend Celibate Passions as well. I'm actually a member there myself. I'm a borderline Asexual. It mite be a good idea to look at the Asexual sites to. An Asexual is someone who does not desire s--.

[deloris9]

`NICK
DO U HAVE SOMETHIN AGAINST S-- OR DO U FIND IT TO DIFFIFCULT TO HAVE s--.

[nick8472 (deleted)]

`I'm not really sure how to explain this but I'll give it a shot. I never had S-- & everything checks out medically. I do have a S-- drive but I don't really desire s--. I don't understand this obsession with it. Outside of reproduction purposes; it seems kind of pointless to me. I guess I just don't understand what all the fuss is about

[deloris9]

`HI

WELL,NICK S-- MAKES U FEEL GOOD AND IT RELEASE s----l STRESS.AND Y HAVENT U BEEN se---lly INVOLVE WITH ANY1?THE REASON THAT I ASK IS,Y R U INTERESTED IN SOMETHIN THAT U NEVER EXPERIENCE.I DONT UNSTAND IF THERES NOTHIN PHYSICALLY WRONG WITH U,Y HAVENT U HAD S-- YET.TRY IT..U MAY UNSTAND Y?

[nick8472 (deleted)]

I never had S-- cuz I never wanted to. As I said; it does not interest me. This is not something I expect most people to understand. I don't understand people who do want s--. You do not need S-- to feel good & be happy. There's other things that make up relationships besides sex

[richardludwig (deleted)]

i desire S-- with a woman out of love for her - but it does not seem to be many emotionally compatible women in my area that would be a suitable emotional ''fit''. why is that so? and another thing that kinda has me a little discouraged is a lot of women play mind games and screw with my head and use meaningless body language instead of doing total truth and being brutally honest with me. why do they do that crap?